Credibility

As taken from Dictionary.com....

cred·i·ble /ˈkrɛdəbəl/
–adjective 1. capable of being believed; believable: a credible statement.
2. worthy of belief or confidence; trustworthy: a credible witness.

I used to tell my soldiers that we live and die, succeed and fail based on our credibility. To an inspector there is nothing more important. Rank, position, title, all of these were socond to credibility. I had lengthly conversations with soldiers on this topic not all related to wearing the uniform. Credibility when you go home, on the streets, in varying environments and audiences. As I walked through my day today this topic kept coming to mind over and over.

I must admit that Antioch is kind of kicking my ass here lately. I'm not panicking, I just have to step up my "game" and get on top...so to speak. I wonder however if I'm beginning to lose credibility with the folks that accepted me so readily. Not a very comfortable place to be and not a place I plan on staying for long.

Antioch students question everything, its part of the learning process. Question authority, government, patriarchy, class, gender, yourself....everything! This questioning leads to exploration and a deep and thorough understanding of the world around you and your place in it. Something that seems pretty damn necessary if your going to be making wise decisions about trying to change the world. The outward appearance however seems to the casual viewer to be "wierd" or "toxic" or any number of negative adjectives that serve to destroy credibility. How painfully ironic that this element that should be embraced and celebrated is used to dehumanize and demonize the Antioch experience.

I read an article complaining that Antioch students get college credit for attending demonstrations. I have no idea if this is true or not or when it was true or not or in what context it was true or not but I have a story about situational learning. When I was 20 years old I was deployed to Bosnia. I got tasked one day to accompany a small group of soldiers downtown so that some officer could meet with some public officials. I was pretty new to the Army, I didn't want to be where I was at and I sure as hell didn't want to be dragged all over freaking Bosnia for some officer. When we stopped and the important people went inside us joes (slang for lower ranking soldiers) had to pull security. I stood there in all my heavy gear with my rifle in my arms scanning the city in front of me. I wondered if I would even see a sniper up there or if the world would just stop. Some little kids came running up to us with flowers, it was really heartwarming. As this herd of children surrounded us wanting to touch our gear, our weapons, our trucks some older kids came walking up. One of the soldiers I was with noticed that one of them had his hand hidden under his shirt. The soldier said loudly "heads up" and alerted the rest of us to the boy. I learned more about myself, human nature, fear, courage and youthful stupidity in the five seconds that followed than any time spent in any classroom could ever yield. This boy, this child wanted to show off his cool pocket knife to the big tough american soldiers. He wanted to show that he was tough too.
No, we didn't shoot him.
The point is that there is no better teacher, or harsher, than real life. So before you go criticizing someone for what they may or may not have received college credit for go put your ass on the line for something you believe in for five seconds.

In Infancy

Being new to antioch I have so much to say that I have no idea where to start. I will make no aspirations to make sense in these first several posts so please bear with me.

I am living a dream.

My eyes are opening and I'm gaining a voice.

I want to scream, to laugh, to cry out.

I also want to catch up on my homework, check out all the message board posts, get involved in everything, get to know everyone and tell a few select people to get their dirty fucking fingers out of this college.

Guess I'm not going to accomplish all of that tonight.

OK so do I start with the boring crap? transfer student...13 years in hell...er Army....Public Health....IFOR, OIF I, Germany, Korea....missed too much family stuff....from Albuquerque...8 (almost 9) year old son....5 year old daughter....AND BABY REIN!!! So that last part isn't boring crap and I could talk about it for days....what of it?

So I got out of the Army this year on a medical....yeah I got the cool pimp walk. Thanks Army, I always wanted one of those!! They gave me some loot and sent me on my way. So what did I do with the money you ask? I came to Antioch to change the fucking world.

Hey america..we have to talk...I think we need to change the dynamic of our relationship....you see there seems to be a disparity between the idea of America and the reality of america. Yes I know it's not really your fault that some criminal pieces of shit weaseled their way into the most powerful positions in the country, I mean there's always going to be something right? No really I think your great and have a great personality but this just isn't working out for me. I think that to go on like this is just really, well, toxic. So I'm just going to be doing my thing for a while and when your more healthy and not quite so self destructive maybe we can be friends again.

So there's this concept of the american war machine right? What about the American Peace Machine? Doesn't sound like much? well stay tuned folks, its's gonna blow your mind.

Oh by the way....Antioch is staying open. Accept it. Embrace it. Fight for it. You will risk losing your jobs now if you do. You Will lose your job later if you do not. This school is unique and amazing and if you think that its ok to just trudge along bending to the will of the morons running the show and just waiting for the lights to go out and the doors to get locked you might as well pack your shit and hit the fucking road now.

A quiet voice asked me today where the 14 million dollars went. I don't know what this meant but I'm sure someone out there does. Time will tell.

The Army taught me a lot, some on purpose and some on accident. I know how systems work. I know how systems fail. I know how to fix systems and I know how to identify and repair the broken parts. I was never glad to cost someone their job or reputation but I did my duty in order to keep people healthy. I worked with those that were willing to step up and trained those that were lacking. Those that refused to admit wrongdoing, that tried to cover up, tried to stonewall, they were the ones that had to find new jobs. Antioch College ain't healthy. Its got a strong heart and a beautiful soul. Things will get better and Antioch College will take its rightful place. I don't have enough time on the ground to even begin to talk about how that will unfold but my eyes are open and I will do my part to make it happen. The difference here is that I will revel in removing any cancerous growth that is keeping this college from becoming the "vibrant community" that it should be. So check yourself, realize that your ego, your issues, your arrogance are secondary to the survival and health of Antioch College. Ante up, make it happen or get out.